


Monsoon vs Bladewolf

by Polterglitch



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Angst, Cider, Lust, M/M, Metal Gear - Freeform, Old story I wrote ages ago, Teasing, i wrote this while i was high, metal gear rising
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23671195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polterglitch/pseuds/Polterglitch
Summary: Monsoon and Bladewolf both want the same thing but who will triumph?
Relationships: Monsoon/ Bladewolf, Raiden/Samuel Rodrigues
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Monsoon vs Bladewolf

**Author's Note:**

> Another old fanfic I wrote while I was high

Monsoon never could have predicted that such a mundane task like shopping would trigger such extraordinary events. It was early evening as the cyborg strolled around Lidls doing his weekly shop. His basket was almost full of his usual items - magnet polish, tooth whitener, scrap metal, tarantulas and some oil to fry them in... There was only one more thing, perhaps the most important thing, that he needed to get. He turned into the alcohol aisle and spotted a lone flagon of white cider; the last one in the store.   
At the opposite end of the aisle was Bladewolf who had also been shopping for his essentials. His robot dog eyes were on the cider too. Sensing he may have competition, Monsoon decided to take no chances and dismembered himself to launch his speedy tornado move to get straight to the prize. Bladewolf launched into action and bound down the aisle with his artificial tongue flopped out. The pair collided inches away from their goal creating an explosion of spilled shopping items and Monsoon's body parts.   
"This cider's mine!" Monsoon declared pulling himself together and clasping a hand on the flagon.   
"Negative," Bladewolf responded in his monotonous robotic voice as he wrapped his tail around the neck of the bottle.   
They exchanged deathly stares and did the only thing they knew how: fight. Monsoon pounced on him but Bladewolf was no easy prey. He tail whipped him in the face and flipped him off and soon they were rolling around the supermarket floor grappling for the cider like a pair of amateur wrestlers on Money in the Bank.   
During the struggle a strange feeling of Deju vu came over them and it dawned on them that they had met before. Ten years ago, in the early hours of a Saturday morning, they had just so happened to bump into each other whilst drunkenly staggering home from a club. Memories were vague but weird sexual activity had taken place in a phone box that never would have happened if they had been sober. Ashamed of themselves, they had gone their separate ways and repressed it as deeply as possible, never seeing each other again. Each wondered silently if the other was thinking the same and decided not to mention it, in the hope that they had forgotten.   
Meanwhile, the scuffle had attracted the attention of the security guards. Two stern looking cyborgs stood over them with their arms folded.   
"What's going on here then?" the first asked, raising an eyebrow.  
They yelled at the same time drowning each other out with their childish squabbling and resorting to hair and tail pulling. The security guards looked at each other and shook their heads.  
"If neither of you are willing to back down then you will have to share."  
"No way! I have won this!"  
"Negative. Failure of this mission would violate tonight's objective."  
The guard spoke firmly, "If you do not agree to share we'll have no choice but to ban you both from the store and report you to your bosses."  
It dawned on Monsoon that the consequences of this would be dire. Not only was this the only shop for miles but he did not want Armstrong to know he had been wrestling an AI dog on the floor for three litres of white cider. Regrettably there was no choice in the matter. They begrudgingly glared at each other and nodded.

Monsoon's apartment was bigger and the closest so they agreed to go there. Bladewolf planned to share a little with him then swipe it when his back was turned. Monsoon had no intention of sharing any at all (not with Bladewolf anyway).   
The first thing Bladewolf noticed about Monsoon's apartment was that it was one of a kind. His jaw dropped when he saw the living room. The carpet was invisible under a sea of what to the untrained eye looked like scrap metal. There were bits of tank, helicopter, car parts and set aside even some motorcycle parts. Some of them had the creepy purple Lorentz aura about them. The leather sofa was covered in them too leaving only a small space for a single person to sit down. Plant pots were dotted around in random places and numerous Richard Dawkins and Hendrik Lorentz pictures hung on the wall as if Monsoon worshipped them as gods. The last thing he spotted was propped up in the corner: that damn, godforsaken, unholy Wheel. He would stay as far away from that thing as possible. The so called living room appeared as nothing more than a magnetic scrap metal lab. Bladewolf concluded that it most definitely deviated from the social norms he was programmed with.   
Monsoon spied the stunned look on his face and explained, "It's simply the way things are; this way I know where everything is so it’s easier and more efficient. It's who I am see. All is as it should be."  
"We shall be needing some glasses. Do you think you could find some amongst all your weird shit?" Bladewolf shot back, realising that perhaps he had been learning too much of Raiden's vocabulary.   
Monsoon grunted and reluctantly fetched two half pint glasses. He would permit Bladewolf to that before he booted him out of his house and kept the cider. He also permitted him to sit on the only seat in the room, but only so he could creep him out by sitting on the ceiling. To his annoyance, Bladewolf did not seem phased by this, he was an AI afterall.  
An uncomfortable silence fell on the room, which Monsoon broke by disconnecting his hand and rifling through Bladewolf's shopping bag.   
"Let's see what you got, shall we," he grinned snidely at him. "Ooh a squeaky toy, a dog dish, Pedigree Chum... What's this? A leash, dog collar, a Brazillian edition pot noodle and WKD! Tell me: what would a dumb AI dog want with those?"  
"I see no reason to share my objectives with you," Bladewolf answered coldly.  
"Do as you please!" yelled Monsoon angrily as he necked his cider in one. "I've got my own objectives to attend to."  
Rattled, he threw the shopping bag down purposely spilling all the contents and scurried into the kitchen, which was also covered in various vehicle parts leaving only a small space on the worktop and cooker. There was something that bothered him about Bladewolf's shopping list. He put it down to nothing more than paranoia and began making preparations for dinner: fried tarantulas with crickets as a garnish - they were a delicacy in Cambodia. He only made the effort to cook on special occasions or when entertaining guests. All he had to do was get rid of Bladewolf before the said guest arrived.   
Bladewolf padded into the kitchen curious about what the unusual smell was. Tarantulas! What the hell! But that was not the only odd thing he noticed; "I calculate that the portion sizes are inadequate for just a singular meal. Are we expecting company or is this strange concoction for me?"  
"I see no reason to share my objectives with you!" Monsoon shot back sarcastically.   
Bladewolf scowled and headed back into the living room as the smell of fried spiders became overwhelming. He figured the extra meal probably wasn't for him and he dreaded to think what kind of people Monsoon mixed with. If they were anything like him then the situation would become even more awkward; one was bad enough. He may have had some weird tendancies, however he wasn't stupid and had taken all necessary precautions to guard the precious cider in keeping it right next to his fryer amongst bits of magnetic scrap. A distraction was needed.   
Heading back into the so-called living room, Bladewolf pondered over tactics. For reasons his giant intellect could not fathom, he got a weird kick out of antagonising the cyborg. He found him strangely intriguing: a worthy opponent. He was drawn to one of the plant pots, (which looked oddly out of place amongst all the mechanical equipment) to see what he was growing. There were some pretty pink flowers alongside some psychodelic looking mushrooms that were probably best avoided. Bladewolf smirked and pushed the pot off the ledge. Monsoon heard the smash and came dashing in, "What are you doing you stupid clumsy mutt?"  
Bladewolf replied with a hint of smugness, "I apologise. I seem to have broken one of your Pol Pots."  
"What did you say?" Monsoon snarled. He was very sensitive about the traumatic childhood he had spent on the killing fields.   
"Plant pots."  
Monsoon gave him a death stare that was invisible from underneath his dome. A fake smile appeared to mask his plotting, "Oh, I must have misheard you. I suppose it’s OK I've got loads more."  
Bladewolf looked at him suspiciously. Why was he suddenly being nice?  
Monsoon's grin spread, "How about we try and be amicable towards each other seeing as we will be sharing this cider."  
"Your terms seem acceptable."  
"Good doggy. How about we play some fetch?" he said whipping out the stick he'd stolen from his shopping bag.   
Bladewolf's tail wagged furiously; he was a sucker for a game of fetch. The fact that Monsoon was willing to play it with him almost made up for how obnoxious he had been earlier in the supermarket. He happily followed him into the garden jumping up and down in excitement. Monsoon had a huge grin on his face that was difficult to read without seeing his eyes. Was he wide-eyed and full of joy or scowling sinisterly? Was he to be trusted?  
He tossed the stick far into the garden and it disappeared into a bush. Perfect; it was the ideal cover for him to perform his stealth attack... Bladewolf fell for it hook, line and sinker; he darted across the garden to the shrubs, only to find that the stick had been replaced by one of Monsoon's detached legs, which swiftly sprang into action and booted him in the face. Damn that crafty cyborg! He decided he had to up his game...  
Monsoon retreated back into his kitchen, chuckling maniacally to himself as Bladewolf lay whimpering and injured on his side. His fried tarantulas were almost cooked to perfection. The timing was perfect for his date was due to arrive very soon. Nevertheless a quick codec call to make sure he was on his way wouldn't hurt.   
'Good evening my love. I trust you are on your way. I have prepared an exquisite meal for us. I am looking forward to seeing you.'

Meanwhile, in a nearby motel room, Jetstream Sam sat up in bed and wiped his brow after enjoying a steamy session with Raiden, who lay flat out exhausted next to him. He reached over to the bedside table and discreetly checked his codec. It had only been abandoned for a mere hour but already had several messages left on it. He sighed - it was hard being as popular as he was. It was even harder still to satisfy the tremendous sex drive he had... No singular cyborg, human or animal had managed to fulfill it, which is how he justified enjoying them all.   
"Who's calling you?" Raiden mustered up the last of his strength to ask.   
"Don't worry, nobody as good as you, pretty boy," Sam smiled, playfully running his fingers through his hair.   
It was true, Raiden held the largest place in his heart (still that didn't give him the right to be so possessive!) but there were things he craved that he just couldn't satisfy. That was where Monsoon and Bladewolf came into it... He had dates with both of them lined up. Monsoon harboured some of the kinkiest freakiest fetishes that not even the darkest XXX website catered for and the fact that he could disassemble himself was interesting, while Bladewolf would be his loyal unquestioning servant and do anything he wanted just like the obedient dog he was... And the beauty of it was none of the three were likely to speak to one another so he could use the same puny excuse to get away and have each think he was their one and only.   
"You know I have VR training to go to," he smiled at Raiden.   
"I know," Raiden said glumly. "Same time tomorrow though?"  
"Of course. I'm missing you already."  
He kissed him and departed for Monsoon’s place, smiling to himself, “I’m just getting started!”

Bladewolf padded back into the house after escaping the rogue limb, his pride literally dented. Analysis of that damn Monsoon, who stood frying his tarantulas with that infuriating grin on his face, concluded that he really was a smug, creepy weirdo and it was just as well that he had that big thing on his head to contain his ego. But it was OK, he would have the last laugh. For now he would let him think that he had the upper hand while he planned his next move.   
In the living room, in pride of place above all the junk and hanging on the wall were Dystopia, Monsoon's precious Sais. It was where he hung them when he was at home and not ripping people to shreds on the battle field. If there was a way of getting to him, then this was certainly it. So... Monsoon wanted to play fetch? If he was going to get treated like a dog then surely the only thing to do would be to act like one!   
He tore them from their throne and pinned them down with his metal paws like a hungry predator going in for the kill. It was in a dog's nature to maul and chew things of value. A regular dog would go for things like furniture, slippers or newspaper but he was a cyborg dog with razor sharp metal teeth that could tear up much more. The Sais were infused with Lorentz, which made them a little tough, nevertheless he managed to leave some jagged teeth marks as he slobbered and savaged them as if they were a bone. Monsoon would be furious...  
On hearing the feral growling from the kitchen, the cyborg dashed in to see what destruction he was causing. It was to his complete and utter horror that his beloved Dystopia were being mauled by that vile mutt!   
"What the hell do you think you are doing? How dare you!" he bellowed.  
Bladewolf looked up a sweet look of satisfaction upon his face to see the enraged Cambodian launch himself at him. He should have expected a revenge attack! Yet again, they became embroiled in a whirlwind of metallic body parts grappling at each other on the floor, hair and tail pulling like children. Once again the feeling of deja-vu swept over them. The claws of Bladewolf scraped down his attacker’s face, slicing one of the few human parts he had left. Monsoon’s artificial heart thudded and his skin tingled. Obviously, he felt more pain to his actual flesh than his cyborg body would permit and the scratch gave a jolt to his senses that made him feel alive! A desire he could not understand nor control took hold of his senses and in the grip of its vice he pinned Bladewolf onto his back and ran his tongue along his snout. Bladewolf’s eyes widened with curiosity and the same unknown feeling took hold of him too…

Drawing ever closer was Jetstream Sam, after taking a quick shower to erase the smell of he and Raiden’s bodily fluids from their earlier encounter. He felt as fresh as a daisy but of course it wouldn’t last if past experiences with Monsoon were anything to go by. He was a kinky devil and such an attentive lover! His hair slick back in his usual ponytail he walked up Monsoon’s street with a cocky swagger in his step and a cheeky grin on his tanned face. What sort of fetish would he be indulging in today?   
He tapped the heavy front door but there was no response. Strange noises could be heard inside: rhythmic grunting and moans… Sam was intrigued so tried the handle. Monsoon usually left it unlocked when he was expecting him although he liked to knock just out of politeness. However the door was open. Nothing could have prepared Sam for what he was about to see. 

There was Bladwolf being pinned to the ground by Monsoon who was holding him by the scruff with one hand while violently fisting him with the other. A twisted expression was upon Bladewolf’s face as he yelped and Sam was unsure as to whether or not he was enjoying himself or just in vast amounts of pain. There was no such doubt with Monsoon; his sadistic grin was spread ear to ear. It was at least a minute before either of them noticed that they were being watched but Sam was more than happy to watch the show.   
“Ahem…” Sam said clearing his throat.   
The interruption startled them. Bladewolf was mortified – he had genuine feelings for Sam and did not want him to think of him as being disloyal. On the other hand, Monsoon could not have cared less because he had no interest in being in an exclusive relationship, or any kind of relationship for that matter other than a sexual one.   
“Sam… why are you here?” Bladewolf asked.  
“I could ask you the same question,” Sam said, intrigued.   
“This stupid mutt was helping me warm up for you,” Monsoon grinned. “He was just leaving.”  
“Well, let’s not be too hasty,” Sam said, the corner of his lips curling into his own cheeky grin...


End file.
